Alie and Me 2

Well, it's been a while since I'm continuing the story of Alie and Me. It all about remembering the past time and as time goes by, I tend to forget what's inside my tiny little brain and what I actually feels about myself and everyone around me. Memory is kind of hard to be recovered if you doesn't have mood for it. Any mood will do actually, it's beyond the comprehension of human understanding.

What is fate, love and hope? Does this 3 things that I mention connected or related to each other? Maybe. It's up to us I guess in what we wanted to believe. Some say its just wishful thinking, some say a way to escape from reality and some say, it's just a phase of life that we will encounter and endure. Beautiful those words are, have thousand of different meanings.

Alie, are you there? Are you watching me? Thanks. Thanks a lot if you do and I just want to believe it that way. Let me be in my own fairy tale about you. If you're asking me how I am, I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about. I still remember that we use to talk rubbish stuff to make the time goes by, to make you feels okay, to fill my most of my free time in the past. Such enjoyable moments those times are.

I remember the night that you were crying and do not want to tell me about it, but maybe because of your sickness that are engulfing you day by day.

Remember I told you this?

"Happy, lonely, laughing, receiving, rejoicing, being alone, tears come in more than one color
Look, a rainbow is forming, I wonder if tomorrow is going to be sunny
The choking lump in your throat is a pop away from bursting down into tears, as I wrap my hands around your shoulders,
It’s alright, it’s okay.. you can cry, it’s okay,
There.. believe in it, that you aren’t alone"

It is actually a song lyrics but you were fond to it so much that you like to make me repeat it everytime I visit you in your place. Such wondrous moment, I like to see your smile, your less hair head, your funny snowcaps and your ability that can see through me on what do I feel with myself.

You said that I'm sad, still searching for something. You said I am unsure, not confident with myself and the worst that you said to me is, I'm not able to love everyones around me.

Is that true? From 6 years ago, I couldn't care less on what you said, because feelings is an amount that you can't even quantify. Anything can happen and change as the time moves on. But now, presently, I see what you mean, I understand what are you trying to explain and I feel regret that I'm not able to say that;

"You are right Alie."

 Maybe I'm too selfish to face this reality Alie, I'm ungrateful and I'm not strong as I use to be. The courage just gone maybe it's about the age factor I guess. The last piece of advice that I get is never forget who I am. That, I'm yet to understand. There's so many stuff that has been going on around and I'm pretty sure you will scold me if I just say "I give up" on it.

I hate cats, but you love em', and you make me love em'.

So why are you gone?

Why are you leaving me Alie?

How is your family? I never contacted them again.I saw uncle once, but he doesn't remember me. But I guess that's okay, it is for the best.


Well the memory faded once again, past memory is really hard to be recovered. The more the memories are related to you is getting closer, the more calm I've became.

Until then, I guess...

Alie and Me

There's something I would like to tell you about. It was a story between me and my friend. It's not a good story where any other stories that usually have a happy ending. It's kinda of a story with lotsa ups and down of life, sunshine and the rain and light and shadows or should I say happy and sad moment. Get it? Anyway, whatever bittersweet moments we have, it always happen for a reason. Maybe I'm being skeptical, but I'm just like everyone else, searching what is the meaning of life.

My name is Jay, I come from a simple family, live in a Borneo Island. Its a beautiful place where the skies are blue, the clouds are fluffy, the wind is breezy and the sea is calm. Well, sometimes there's a bad weather but they can be enjoyable as well I think. Anyway, my life is kinda normal, just like anybody else, go to school, get an education from primary school to the university level, that kind of life.

In the phase of that life, I've met lotsa interesting people.Some are happy, some are sad, and some pursuing their goals to achieve their dream and also some just leave it the way as it is but all of them are having enjoyable moments with their life. I'm kinda glad to be able share some of the moments with them.It was pretty cool. By the way I do a lot of adventuring as well with my friends. Like climbing the mountain, and going to the tip of Borneo Island with them.

Then I've met someone special in my life. She was kind of special to me and her name is Alie.

Alie Alexander Aszhura. I can't seem to forget about her. Why? She's dead already that's why. She was having a cancer, died at the age of 22, early June of 2008. Wait cancer? How the hell I know all of this? And how the hell that I've met this person? Who's this Alie?

It all began on a sunny day at the hospital of Queen Elizabeth. Again, what the hell am I doing there? I was accompanying my friend to take his medical checkup reports. While waiting for the report to come out, I was wandering around at the hospital, running away from the crowd and searching for a vending machine to get something to drink.

While goofing around, I saw this girl at the flower garden. She was wearing a beanies (snow caps), and was talking to a cat.

At first I was freak out, but its kinda interesting afterwards. Maybe I was kinda rude watching at her for about 10 to 20 minutes but I can't help it. I just want to make sure if she is okay or not. Well for starter, she notice that I was watching her. She look at me, pause, and give a smile. Calming. I need that smile. It’s been a while I don't see a smile like that in my life. The one that gives you a warm feeling inside. It is so serene and lovely.

Then she approach me, and bring the cat like a baby.

"You must think I'm crazy" she said. I replied her honestly, "no, it was kind of interesting. You don't see that every day. It's the first time I've met someone like you. I hope you don't mind I watch at you". "No, not at all, some people would just ran away if they saw me like that. Except the doctors and the nurse." She replied with a smile. Then I ask her, "What are you both chat about?" "Hrm?" Mumbled her. "I mean you and the cat". I reply. "Oh, hee, nothing much, I just ask the bum if he's already eat!" She smiled. Then I ask her again, "so the bum's already eat?" "Hehe no..., I'm going to bring him now hihi..." she giggled.”Do you wanna join me?" she asked me. Politely I said no, I've got some errands to do with my buddy then afterwards we go on our own different way.

I thought it would just end like that, no connection, no whatsoever, nothing because I thought it was just another days moment. I even don't ask her name in the first place. So I wouldn't care so much.

But who knows, that was the beginning of my wondrous fate with her....

Re-Start

What do I know about life? I'm still hundred years away in doing something good to myself or the society. I've made a lot of mistake I guess. So I'm restarting and rearranging what's there for me. Going to be grateful with the chance I got. You never know what waits tomorrow....

:-)

Everyday is Beautiful

Ding dong ~ Well for most of my free time, I like to go outdoor to do some stuff ~ Erm let say snap some pictures ~ The world is just awesome.

I really love this one. Guess it is my luck to capture such wonderful creature.

Wonderful isn't it? :-)

I really like to think that this world is still a wonderful place to live, despite its current affairs because what I see everyday inspired me so much that life is still a journey to be enjoyed.

There is a reason on everything happen so just think that everyday is beautiful if you want to be happy like a butterfly. Sing a song, la la la and do stuff you like and don't give up hope.

Have faith in your fate and do enjoy life without tinking too much about what is going to happen next day.

Enjoy every moment.

Ding dong ~ Hey what happen with you today?

Same Scene Different Day ~

First of all, I would like to share something with you.

"I'm in the middle of something in the water cooler leaking"

This quote has been created by Kee Faridz and Mohammad Faizal Aziz friend of mine at the place where I study now.

It is kinda weird how he compose this word because I do not know what is the meaning of it but it has its own unique feature that is ; no one understands it. However, it is becoming widely use by also his friends when want to express something umm.. Let say, "great".



I dedicate this picture to both of them for creating such great but weird quote.

Well I guess now everyone can say anything they like, to express themselves of saying something they want to express at that time.

So whatever happen to you today? Are you sad? Happy? Having an internal dilemma or just sitting around remembering bittersweet symphony?